Work Woes

(Crossposted from Facebook)

So, I like getting money. Like, I *really* like getting money. I like knowing that my bank account isn't going to dwindle down into nothingness. I like knowing that at the end of the week, I will be picking up a nicely-endowed check that will get dumped in my bank account (with any surplus of $100 overflowing into my savings).

Furthermore, I like working at Dunkin' Donuts. Well, more to the point, I like the people whom I work with. I like the fact that we can make it fun and goofy and laugh at some of the stranger orders, and whine at big food drive-thru orders. I like caffeine. I *really* like being able to fix myself a cappuccino...for free.

But I am lazy. I am inclined to take more time off before starting again; I don't think this would last long before I got bored, but there ya have it.

Furthermore, I am getting my wisdom teeth out May 20th, the recovery time to which I have heard ranges from under a week to around a month. I don't want to be coming into work whilst on Vicodin. I am not House.

Let us consider the fact that I also cannot see myself at DD much longer. I am not cut out for a high-pressure job. I went to a doctor's appointment this past winter right after work, and my BP was 140 over somethingsomething. To compare, when I went over Spring Break when I was NOT working, it was 116 over somethingsomething.

I am twenty (soon-to-be 21); I need more work experience than DD. My roommate just got turned down for a job because she doesn't have sales experience. Retail isn't sales experience *per se*, but it is a broader experience. And I can easily see myself at Fashion Bug. I've applied there once before, but was turned down due to my seasonal availability.

Y'know, being a college student really screws you over in terms of employment.

I don't know. I've been feeling more like an adult lately than I usually do, and I feel as though I've almost outgrown my job at DD, despite having only worked a couple of months there.

And that's another thing. I don't know if I'd be up for three straight months of high-pressure DD shifts. I do want to have a life outside of work, after all.

I just don't know. As of right now, my plans are to wait until mid-June before going back to work, just to keep things on the safe side in terms of recovery time from the surgery. And I want to get my application to Fashion Bug before then, too. Y'know. Just in case.

I don't even know...

Hi, guys. I'm still here!

Lately I've been thinking about LiveJournal a lot, and I'm starting to think I'm outgrowing it. It feels ridiculous to me, because I have been here since...oh gosh, what, 2004? My journal is a first-grader! I've made friends, I've met new people (some of whom I managed to meet in real life as a result), and it's been the center of my life in fandom--it still is! Actually, lately, that's all it is. And I have no problem with that, but I've watched people up and leave, or abandon their journals. I've kind of been letting mine die organically. This is my first post in how long? Two months? And I used to post every day.

I've put money into this; I've been the recipient of others putting money into this--into me--and I feel like I've let them down. I can't quite describe what's drawing me away these days. It's not the fact that I'm busy (though that is surely true). It's more the fact that I find myself losing interest. I used to check my flist every day, update a couple times a week, at least, and comment all the time. These days, I'm more of a lurker, and I think it's to do with the fact that I'm not just getting older, I'm maturing--with all the good and bad connotations that come along with that.

I'm not saying I don't need an outlet--far from it these days!--but that I have managed to redirect it elsewhere. I think I needed LiveJournal for a great many years when I didn't have too many friends in my everyday life. I couldn't unload on them with all my curiosities, insecurities, &c. I've built up a group of friends who are all (mostly) fandom-friendly, geeky, and honestly the most supportive group of individuals I have had the benefit of knowing personally.

Who knows. Maybe this is just a momentary thing, and I'm going to swarm back to LJ as soon as I'm not running myself into the ground this semester. Goodness knows I've tried to up and leave before, and I'm outright saying, right now, that that is not what I am doing here. Rest assured that I won't be deleting my journal--possibly ever. There are all the conversations I've had here, and of course my teenage angst memorialized! ;P

At the very least, it's going to stick around as my fandom account. Nevertheless, it's something that's on my mind, and while I do love blogging, I've always struggled with it as a form of writing. I'm getting to the point where I feel like there should be a reason, a purpose, for it.

Ugh, I don't know.

One of these days, my Health tag is going to explode...

So yeah, more health issues. I get these chest pains regularly, and they're not SERIOUS I THINK MY HEART IS STOPPING pains, they're just little sharp jabs in my back, about where my lungs are. I stop breathing for a second, let out all my air, and then start breathing again, and it's fixed. I have told EVERY SINGLE DOCTOR about this, but it wasn't until I switched endocrinologists that I received some serious attention about it. 'Bout time, eh? It's been *years*, seriously.

So I saw a doctor at the same place my primary care physician is, and she was slightly concerned, and had some blood drawn for it. Apparently the results came back today, and they're a little abnormal, which could indicate clotting. They're only *slightly* abnormal, so she's not too concerned with getting a CAT-scan, but she does want to do a chest x-ray, and I'll probably go in on Thursday (tomorrow is going to be a blizzard, right, so that would be unwise, methinks, and besides, I work tomorrow) and get that done...

Can I be healthy again, please? I'm tired of having things wrong with me.
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Schmoop Bingo


illness – minor
massage – back rub
blind date
reading aloud
wedding – shower
baby – feeding
hot cocoa
birthday – celebrant is sick
pregnancy (male or female)
butterfly kisses
injury – minor
“I love you” – first
gift giving
feeding – erotic
cuddling in public
illness – shared
sleepy times
love song
cuddling with pets

H/C Bingo

Because one challenge isn't enough for my summer, hc_bingo.

abandonment issues
body hatred
undercover: forced to hurt your partner
ghosts and hauntings
post-traumatic stress disorder
wings (sudden onset)
forced marriage
telepathy (always there, but sudden trauma)
isolation / accidentally locked in
sexual extortion: to keep a secret (high school)
counseling / therapy
stranded/survival scenario
panic attacks
pining: confession in desperate situation
social phobia
sexual extortion: to pay for something