This is Either...
I woke up this morning after a ridiculously awesome sex dream, and you get to read all about it!
First thing I remember is meeting this man in a parking lot. The only way I explain it to myself is that it was like 3 a.m. or something, because no one else was there. He was an older man, but that's about all I remember. We exchanged words, though I don't remember what those words were, and I undid his pants and started giving him a blowjob. It was kind of sloppy (not messy-sloppy, but teeth-sloppy) at first, but I got into it pretty quickly, and I'm pretty sure I deep-throated further than non-dream!me can.
Dream lulz time: he was wearing a condom that made his dick look like a thick candy cane. Didn't taste like one, but didn't taste like latex either. Thank you, subconscious.
Then I climbed in his lap, and started facing him, but changed my mind and turned away, so he was fucking me from behind, his hands on my hips, lifting me. Then there was some dream magic involving leverage and angles and I don't even know what, and it was awesome. And we were still in the parking lot! I was making a whole lot of noise, and I think some other guy saw us, and was all shocked, but he was in the dream for all of two seconds, so I don't know what happened there.
Then...I'm a little fuzzy on the sequence of events, but I think at some point he turned into a woman with a strap-on. At first I thought it was different people, but the more I think on it, the more I don't think so. She kept fucking me like that, only now we were in a house with a soft carpet, and she was sitting behind me as I rode her, instead of angling in above me like the guy was. She reached down with her fingers and got me off real gentle-like as she fucked me--something I'm not sure would work outside of dreamland.
There was something at some point about me wearing these super skimpy, sexy, short shorts.
Or maybe she was wearing them. I'm not so sure. Because I was licking up her thighs, cleaning up my own juices off her skin, and I said something about repaying the favor, and I feel like I had to pull the shorts off of her, but I can't really remember.
And this is where it kind of falls apart.
At one point I was hiding from someone in a bathroom, and it was this huuuuuuge room. The door was rigged so that it didn't work like a normal door, and instead swung around 360 degrees with the axis point in the center of the door, and that was how it locked. I don't know. The toilet also pulled out from under the sink.
And I have some kind of notion regarding a file cabinet, but I don't know where that was at all. Might have been another dream, even.